Posted by: Morgan | December 31, 2011

“How do you balance being a mom of two?”

Dear S,

I know you’re a new mom, you’re exhausted from baby waking a lot, and busy learning about being a mom of two, but I’m not going to mince words right now.  I’m going to tell you exactly how it is.  And, in the beginning, it’s hard.

I didn’t balance at the beginning.  I don’t know anyone who did.  I got through moment by moment, taking each one at a time.  I took each naptime as it came, trying to get two separate children to sleep without one waking each other, not thinking about what came after.  I played with the older one when the younger one was sleeping.  I wore the younger one a lot (read: practically all the time).  I insisted on being able to take a shower alone every day, no matter what.  I told my husband I needed to do the grocery shopping when he got home, because I needed that 30 minute break.

I looked at moms of two, or even three, and my mind boggled at them.  How in the WORLD were they able to get both dressed, never mind getting everyone to the store in one piece and relatively happy?  How would I ever think of having more than two, if I was so overwhelmed by just living?

There was never a moment that it just clicked, never a point that I knew “Oh! I’ve got it!”.  I just suddenly would realize the house was clean, and we were all eating dinner on time.  And then I was going to playdates and not thinking twice about it.  And suddenly I realized I was doing it, successfully being a mom of two.

But it didn’t happen right away, and I actually had some full-blown melt downs in the middle there (that’s why there’s a gashing hole in the metal ironing board), but it did happen.

So, basically, I really have no help for you at all (sweet, aren’t I?).  Just an encouragement to focus on each moment as you get to it, not worry (at all) about what you’re not getting to, be happy in the small accomplishments, and know that it will come. Probably faster than you think now. I was doing fine 1 1/2 months in, and after 2 months could handle two kids with my eyes closed and my hand tied behind my back (not really, but almost).  And I guess know that you’re not alone, and it’s really not because you’re doing anything wrong.  Give yourself a lot of grace and smile a lot.   Talk to both of your kids about it, about what you’re doing and how you’re doing, and about how you want the three of you to be a team. 🙂  It’ll come, mama.

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Responses

  1. Why did I not see this post earlier? Thank you.


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